Knowing one-self!

It has come to a point in my life where so many things have gone bad, so many plans expiring on me, so many hopes and dreams not happening.... I thank my God for the realization that not everything will happen especially when we want it to..but knowing your self and believing in yourself will keep you going.

Knowing yourself is believing in yourself when no one else does

Knowing yourself is knowing that its u to you to make it right

Knowing yourself is believing that everything is possible

Knowing yourself is believing you are special

Knowing yourself is knowing and believing that you have a purpose

Knowing yourself is letting you believing that no matter the situation you are at now, or place of time, it is never a waste of time...you just have to use the experience wisely..

begin a journey to know yourself and when you do, you'll know the world is not such a bad place after all!

What You Thought would Never Happen , Happen.

Just like starting a new life that takes a dramatic start, so is never having expectations of anything beyond the normal to happen, then it happens...

I remember joining high school a long time ago and there you find new people of different cultures that talk, walk, act and even more look so different; you first do not know what to do, and especially me, being the gal that you'll always find at the back of the crowd the first day and on the front line on day sixteen, it took so long to even know where you can belong...but when i got in there, took my rightful place, it hapened *well not my grades by the way* but it did happen..

Same thing do happen to almost everyone and no matter the color background or religion, the beauty of being in this universe is that, there are no castes or 'classes' like many of us are made to believe by those who 'say'....there is freedom, you can let your imaginations free...explore, believe, do it, expect..because i believe it does happen..

Those who 'say' might tell you it might never happen but it does happen.....or atleast i believe! coz its happening to me right now!

Im loving it too!!!

The Long Wait..

Trust me im not about to blog about some Filipino soap....

That feeling that comes over you especially in the morning when you rise up...in the evening when you lay down
That feeling that comes over you when you rise up, again,  the following day and it was all over you last night..
That feeling that makes you think David Blaine is ''the man''...and the magicians were all born in a higher caste than all of us in the whole world...

That feeling that makes you think...damn, i wish i dint have this feeling...

Yeah that feeling of the long wait...waiting for the unseen, the unknown, the longing of your heart...it makes you wish you had David Blaines lungs and you could hold your breath for the longest....as you wait..

Wait as the dictionary explained it, ''to remain inactive or in a state of repose'', this to me is becoming the the hardest verb that im dealing with lately.

Its the looooooooooooooooong WAIT, and the WEIGHT, too much to bear.

Me and my Keyboard..

The one thing i love about my computers keyboard is that, no matter my situation, story, choice of words, mood, nonsense, sense....it takes it all in...like now!

Do you have that friend or colleague that is so boring, that however juicy or boring your story is, she/he'll like always show no emotions, sometimes even say yes or no Unnecessarily? laugh when not supposed to or even interject the story with something totally out of topic.... yaaaah i know, we all have them.. Now thats another reason why i love my keyboard..:-) its soo cooperative, and i remain the alpha in all my stories..

Had it not been for my internet crawling all the way from Orange Kenya at GPO( assuming thats where it comes from ...coz well.. its where i pay my bills) to wood avenue, and i think it goes through langata road-mbagathi road-hurlingham then to wood avenue, then my life at the office would be soo easy..coz like right now i don't have to get tortured  by ''i spoke of them earlier''.. im just on my keyboard, how peaceful. im even having the feeling of Haaaaaleluyah.*the opera style*

on the other hand, there those people who regardless of how quiet you are, or want to be, even when your alone, they wont stop talking! and aloud for that matter..well, sometimes i dont mind, coz its somewhat entertaining...like the other day im walking to work and this mjengo guyz walking behind me are talking about their friend who doesnt shower, the guy explaining the anatomy of the body and the pores on you skin was just amazing i was left thinking, 'arent you supposed to be doctor kung'u somewhere or something?'.. so he's telling his pal ati when you dont shower for a while, your pores kinda close yu coz of the accumulated  uchafu, therefore after a while, your body becomes something else and cannot handle water, it would react to water like the way hot metal reacts if put in cold water...the person can go mad.. so he was joking and saying, 'imagine that guy is rained on' now you can imagine how well it sounds in kikuyu.."mani jamaa iyo igiurerwo...wawawawa''

  that was my keyboard moment..

Its About Time

Never say never..
Never its impossible..
Never say 'wont happen'..
It will come when you least expect it..

Never despair..
Never loose hope..
don't throw in the towel yet..
It will come when you least expect it..

Cliche as it may sound, i believe every word iv just written, after alot of daydreaming, doodling about it, sleep talking over it, its finally here..words don't explain feeling, sometimes you just have to close ur eyes and feel it.

Im feeling it..the good feeling...yeah *nodding my head*

Close your eyes too and feel that good feeling...

Whats Happening?

Its been a while since i wrote, partly because i've been bored but mainly because, imagine you work soo hard on this painting  and then someone out of nowhere comes and spray paint all over your almost complete magnificent work.....aarrrrgh! yah! i know! so ur ukoz with madisappointments.....and then you dont paint again for a while but blah blah blah...life continues! soooo here i am writing again!

As all of you or most of you have been following the tragedies that have been happening in our country lately, i mean the so many road accidents, the fire, and yani, janas deaths toped it  all! ati YOKOZUNA! what the hell! apparently some place uko Nyahururu guys died of some illicit brew, then today's paper 'six guyz  die uko ruiru ' ferom drinking lethal brew!

Now kenyans, it either we hate ourselves so much or we are just over ignorant because seriously, after all the deaths caused by fuel, from people trying to get free fuel?, from drinking lethal brew, and this happens everywhere, all the time! Goodness! can someone RUN FOR SENSE! With all this marathons being organized for all purposes, i need guys who will join me we do one to promote awareness of using common sense otherwise wen Jesus comes back, he'll have no one to take up to heaven,  we'll all be resurrecting coz we'll all be dead of all this things. And im saying all because all this accidents happening are also getting to innocent people! You might not be chotaing milk from a brookside lorry on jogoo road (another incident that happened awhile back, you can only imagine those mathes and mitungis chotaing milk and all the diseases they took to their homes) but that milk can be brought to you and you become another statistic!

Time to break FREEEEE!

So it got me thinking today, (and whoever starts a sentence with 'so')anyway! i grew up wit a pretty very much supportive father 'yes to all of you rolling your eyes and thinking so did we' the difference is im talking about mine and you're not! He was so supportive that he once told me 'mundu ndariraga ena baba wao'(u shouldn't cry if you have a dad) aaaaaaaaaw! dont i just miss him!

During that time 'the time i was growing up' i had this dream of passing my exams with flying colours, going to a good high school, and becoming the veterinarian that i was soo passionate about. YES my dream, was to become a veterinary doctor and my dad was the biggest supporter of that dream.

            

                                               

The reason im writing this is that i have come to a realization that what the shrinks say about speaking out something sets you free....well i hope this will be therapeutic for me because not only do i feel bad that i dint pass well enough to go to Precious Girls Riruta (mark, as my dad would have wanted), im gonna stop thinking of how it would had become a veterinarian! It has really been something iv been thinking alot of lately but i think time is gone, things have changed and change is good and so its time for me to let go, move on, get focused, and i think im liking it!

mmmmmmmmmh that felt good! i mean sharing this.... I feel good, i feel free!

I do know that if my dad woke up today and finds out  i went to a business school he'd be disappointed but now im officially free to move on and see where business takes me! 

.....and judging from the above photo of the doctor with his hand up somewhere, i don't think im missing much anyway!!!!!

 Like this if you share a similar story....................

N/B- i expect alot of 'like's' dont pretend you're where u wanted to be since childhood!